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Quote of the Day

Started by Cruncher Pete, June 22, 2017, 08:57:18 AM

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Daniel

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
- Mark Twain

Daniel

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
- W. C. Fields

Daniel

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

Daniel

I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died... which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine.
- Olaf Falafel

Daniel

The problem isn't that obesity runs in your family. The problem is no one runs in your family.

Daniel

I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. When it's my birthday, and when it's not my birthday.
- Bill Murray

Daniel

I hate two-faced people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first.

Daniel

A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

Daniel

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
- Henny Youngman

Daniel

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain

Daniel

I have two boys, 5 and 6. We're no good at naming things in our house.
- Ed Byrne

Daniel

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Daniel

Vegetables – what food eats before it becomes food.
- David Weber

Daniel

I'm not saying your perfume is too strong. I'm just saying the canary was alive before you got here.

Daniel

Man is the only living being who cuts down trees, makes paper, and writes "SAVE TREES" on it.