Joke thread!!

[Vajras]

 NEW WORLD SURVEY

Last month a world-wide phone survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:-

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure because of the following:

In Eastern Europe they didn't  know what "honest" meant.

In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.

In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.

In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.

In the US they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

And finally...........................

In Australia, everyone hung up because they couldn't understand the bloody Indian accent.

[LawryB]

Proud to be a Queenslander 


After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Melbourne scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
 
Not to be outdone by the Victorians, in the weeks that followed, a Sydney archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the Sydney Morning Herald read:

"New South Wales archaeologists, finding traces of  130-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 30 years earlier than the Victorians".

One week later, the Courier Mail in Brisbane, Queensland, reported the following:

"After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Beenleigh, Queensland, John Brown, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing.  John has therefore concluded that 130 years ago, Queensland had already gone wireless."

Just makes you proud to be a Queenslander

[Mike Mitchell]

  Plus one for that Lawry, it was the highpoint of my day. 

[LawryB]

more Proud to be a Queenslander.

Two men, one from Queensland and one from New South Wales were sitting in a pub discussing the last State of Origin match.

"Geez Cocky" says the Queenslander "my dog goes beserk when Queensland wins a State of Origin series, barks and runs around like a mad chook. What about your dog when New South Wales wins a series?"

"I don't know" replies the New South Welshman "He is only four years old."