Quote of the Day

[Daniel]

It's not true I had nothing on, I had the radio on.
- Marilyn Monroe

[Daniel]

Yesterday morning Facebook was temporarily offline, leaving millions of workers unable to do anything except their jobs.
- Jay Leno

[Daniel]

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

[Daniel]

Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired. 
- Will Ferrell

[Daniel]

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
- David Lee Roth

[Daniel]

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about women is their eyes.
And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
- Jay Leno

[Daniel]

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
- Steven Wright

[Daniel]

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.
- Tim Vine

[Daniel]

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
- Groucho Marx

[Daniel]

I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.
- Homer Simpson

[Daniel]

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
- Noel Coward

[Daniel]

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
- Robert Benchley

[Daniel]

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep.
Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
- Will Rogers

[Daniel]

Whatever you do always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood.
- Bill Murray

[Daniel]

If you're being chased by a pack of taxidermists, do not play dead.
- Olaf Falafel