Dad jokes thread

[Dataman]

What happens when you witness a ship wreck?

You let it sink in.

[chooka03]

 

[Dataman]

Father to son:

"I've told you a trillion times not to exaggerate."

[jave808]

I laughed at that one Dataman. I like it!

How does a tree get on the internet?
They log in......

[jave808]

I bought a time machine next week.

They sure don't make them like they're going to.

[Dataman]

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing!

[Dataman]

Seen on a Dad's tee shirt:

You can't scare me.
I have a teenage daughter.

[jave808]

The CEO of Ikea was elected President of Sweden this week.

He's still assembling his cabinet...

[jave808]

My wife and I are both tightrope walkers.

We met online...

[jave808]

My dog can float perfectly still on water.

He's such a good buoy.

[shift]

What's red and bad for your teeth?

A house brick.




What's green and bad for your teeth?

A John Deere tractor.

[Mysteron347]

The CEO of Ikea was elected President of Sweden this week.

He's still assembling his cabinet...

But - Sweden is a constitutional monarchy.

Now - Prime Minister - that's believable.

[jave808]

The CEO of Ikea was elected President of Sweden this week.

He's still assembling his cabinet...

But - Sweden is a constitutional monarchy.

Now - Prime Minister - that's believable.

Yeah, I stole that one from a US website. They love their Presidents...

[jave808]

What begins with T, ends with T and had T in it?

A teapot.

[jave808]

What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barberqueue.